Step 1: get sufficiently drunk to feel confident enough to approach a girl and dance a bit, but not drunk to the point where you run the chance of puking on her or falling asleep.
Step 2: Scan the place. Although looks are important, usually the most important thing is to find a girl hammered enough to not be too picky with guys.
Step 3: Slowly approach her on the dance floor while dancing (preferably with a friend, so that she does not think you're a freak).
Step 4 (strictly optional): Try to say something witty. This does not have to be more than one line, nor does it, in fact, need to be witty. By that time, most probably both of you would be too smashed to even care.
Step 5: continue dancing, and every once in a while act goofy to keep her interest and keep her laughing.
Step 6: Slowly start to wrap your arms around her.
Step 7: Kiss her.
Step 8: make sure you have protection.
(Disclaimer: the author does not take any responsibility for adverse effects or consequences that may result from following the steps in either The Rules of Attraction (1) or (2))
It is interesting when one stops and observes the different mating rituals of humans around the world. Here is my comparison of how it works in Bahrain and the UK:
Scene 1: Bahrain, Bukawarra street
Step 1: Make sure you get hold of a nice car. A BMW or a Lexus is preferred, but the minimum requirement is at least a Lumina. If you have a toyota corrolo or a nissan sunny, stop right here, this scene is not for you.
Step 2: Head down to Bukawarra Street near Riffa or Sharei Al-Hub (Love Street) in Adliya. Adliya is usually seen as more posh, but Bukawarra is wider and usually has more action.
Step 3: Try to spot a girl, and make sure that she is up for the chase. If she is with her mother or with a male, it is usually a good sign to back off. If she is with a lot of friends in a car, or happens to have a small kid (brother or sister) in the back seat, it is a good sign to pursue.
Step 4: Try to chase her in the car. Pay careful attention so that other admirers do not cut in front you and steal your target.
Step 5: After chasing her for a while, she will probably leave Bukawarra and Adliya and go off onto a secondary, less busy road. Follow her. This could either lead to pleasant or horrible consequences:
Scenario A: she, without your knowledge, might drive up to her house. If you see a raging father or brother (possibly with a kitchen knife) approaching you, it is best to get the hell out of there.
Scenario B: she will stop at an inconspicous position. This is a good sign. Approach her. Try to chat her up. Remember, the chatting up will only last a few minutes, so it is essential to try to be cute, witty, and entertaining so that you give a good impression. If all works well, she'll take your phone number, and from then on, it's up to your talking skills!
Having the privilige of being from such a small and (relatively) unknown place, it's always a treat to listen to what other people have to say about bahrain abroad. The viewpoints you hear range from well informed to the down-right ludicrous. Here are just some of the conversations I've had trying to explain bahrain.
Dialogue one: the (semi)-avid traveller him: where are you from?
him: oh bahrain.... great great airport. amazing. i really liked it. amazing duty free. I really liked the cars on offer.
me: yeah.. have you ever been in the country?
him: nope... just the duty free.. really liked it though... i was glad to see they had a bar...
me: that's good
him: isn't it the one that has a cool design like a mushroom? with a shiny glazed roof?
me: no that's abu dhabi...
Dialogue 2: the absolute imbecile him: where are you from?
him: bah.. what?
him: bayran? where is that?
me: it's bahrain.. and it's in the arabian gulf.. near saudi arabia and kuwait
him: oh iran....
me: no... bahrain...
him: so you guys have a lot of oil ha?
me: we've got a bit... not as much as the others unfortunately
him: so... you must be pretty rich ha... so do you have like a large house with a swimming pool and a golf course and everything?
me: yup.... they're right next to the oil field in my back yard...
Dialogue 3: The Guardian reader
him: where are you from?
me: (sigh)... bahrain
him: oh cool... so did you enjoy the grand prix?
me: wow... you know bahra... anyway.. yeah .. it was really good.. i wasn't there.. but i watched it on tv.. and it looked pretty awesome.
him: yeah..... it looked a bit empty though... and you guys also had the arabian big brother ha?
me: ummm... yeah....
him: hahaha.... is it true they stopped it because a girl had a t-shirt saying (sexy girl 69) on it? and because they kissed on the cheek when meeting?
me: umm... i guess
him: so how come guys when kissing guys and girls when kissing girls can kiss on the cheek but not when it's guys and girls?
me: it's complicated man.. anyway.. i gotta go... nice to meet you.. bye...
him: what... no kiss on the cheek?
Alright, I suspect that politics is usually not the best introduction to a blog, but this seems to be the main talking point in Bahrain nowadays. Everyone from esteemed MPs to kids playing football on the street seem to be talking about it, from banning big brother to the constitution issue. Comments on these and other issues will come in due time, but first I thought that a general introduction to the situation is needed. It seems that so much dust has been raised around the issue that a lot of people (myself included) have lost sight of the main players in the game. Hence, I took the liberty of digging up some info on the big guns of politics in Bahrain today.
Obviously, the biggest player of all is the government, headed by the king and prime minister. But the area where most of the spotlight has focused nowadays is on the political parties (or more correctly, "societies" as they like to be called!), whether those who chose to participate in parliament or not. Some of these parties decided to participate in elections in the national assembly, which is made of an elected parliament and a consultative council (but the second has been broadly useless so far, so I won't comment much on it), and others decided to boycott parliament on the principle that they disagree with the new constitution. This is a pretty intricate issue, and an explanation of the of issues surrounding the new and old constitution need to be outlined, but here I am just going to try to give a brief overview of the main parties. So before I lose the plot too much, here is the laydown as I see it:
In the red corner: the participators
1.Al Asalah society: a conservative sunni "islamist" party and is widely seen as the political wing of the Islamic education charity (jam3iyat al tarbiya al islamiya). Their ideology derives mainly from the salafi movement, and they seem to advocate a strict interpretation of the sharia law. The society has five MPs in parliament.
big players: Adel Al-moaudah (leader), Isa Al-Muttawa, Khalil Al-Mehindi
note: some other MPs, such as Jassim Al-Saidi, are formally independent, but clearly have an agenda very similar to that of Al-Asalah
2.Al menbar national islamic society An offshoot of the muslim brotherhood. Also has a sunni islamic ideology and is seen to be the political wing of Al Islah society. It is seen as more pragmatic than Al- Asalah. The society Has seven MPs in parliament.
big players: Dr. Salah Ali (leader, family physician), Sheikh Isa Bin Mohammed Al Khalifa (Al Islah Society Leader)
Of course there are other parties, such as the national charter society, but due to their limited influence, and my lack of knowledge about them, I'm not going to comment on them. Any info. is greatly appreciated.
Furthermore, there are a lot of independent MPs, who may have links to certain parties, but are not member of any. Promiment names inclue Fareed Gahzee (of fame from the Gosi and pension funds scandal) and Abdul Nabi Salman.
In the blue corner: the boycotters
1.Al wefaq Islamic society Widely regarded as the biggest party in bahrain, it represent the Shia section in Bahrain. Islamic in nature, it draws its power from the fact that its leaders are the most prominent activists for reform in the 90s.
Big Players: Ali Salman, Hassan Mshaimei, and many others...
2. The Islamic Action Society It's main supporters also come from the shia part of bahrain, but they represent the Shirazi section within the Shias.
Big Players: Sheikh Mohammed Mahfoudh
3. National Democratic Action Society Represents a coalition of leftists, socialists, independents and liberals. Deriving most of its support from professionals and the upper-middle class of society, its main platform is no segregation between shia/sunni, men and women.
Big players: Abdulrahman Al Nouaimi, Jaleila Al Sayed, Ibrahim Sharif Al-Sayed
4.The national assembly societ Similar to 3. but with a more ba'athist/nationalist history and agenda.
Big players: Rasool Al-Jishi
Alright, enough with formalities, I'm getting bored as it is already. Basically, the laydown as I see it is the following: In the fifties up to the seventies, the major players in the game were leftist-leaning nationalists, socialist, communist, and nasserites, and this was reflected in the first (1970s) parliament. Societies 3. and 4. still represent remnants of that old era, with the addition of more liberal attitudes and the disbandment of more communist leaning- attitudes. From the 1990s on, however, due to the events in bahrain, the situation unfortunately more polarized on religious/sectarian issues. Hence, we nowadays see the rise of the religious groups, both alasalah and al menbar representing sunnis, and alwasat and alamal (Islamic action) representing shias. Unfortunately, more liberal minded and secular groups have seen their support dwindle, as in a society polarized by two extremes, people tend to shift to the extreme that they think will support their "type" (whether shia or sunni).
I do think, however, the situation is changing, especially in the last year, where people have started focusing more on issues than religious background. Granted, a lot of these issues are still viewed and coloured by religious tension (sunnis accuse shias of boycotting the parliament, shias accuse sunnis of blindly putting faith in the royal family), but hopefully, with time, people will realize that this is fruitless, and leads to more nation dividing than nation building
Hello everyone! Inspired by such blogs as the religious policeman, mahmood.tv, and many others, I've decided to become the newest addition to the booming blogging community in the middle east. There are many reasons why i've decided it's a good time to start blogging. Partly because because I'm going through a severe patch of boredom, and partly because there is so much that is going on now in Bahrain and the middle east that the oppurtunity of indiscriminate ranting just cannot be missed! Since this is the first post, some introductory info is due. I'm a 21 year old bahraini studying for the fourth year (too long) running in England, where now I'm doing a masters. I've seen a blog made by a bahraini in Bahrain, and recently a blog by an expat in Bahrain, so I think it's about time to have a blog made by a bahraini who is outside of bahrain. Anyway, I hope this new venture of mine works, and hopefully that I do keep posting for more than a week (that's my initial target!).