Alright. I've been way too nice the last couple of posts, and my cynical, skeptic side is bugging me again to take the piss out off something. A pre-warning though, I do not actually mean and believe much of the stuff I write below, but then again, you must make fun out of something every once in a while. Business majors beware, this is directed to you.

Every other person in Bahrain nowadays is studying some sort of "business" degree. You would think that Bahrain is suddenly the New New York (why not? I think it's time for a new New York, York is way too old, and New York is a tad outdated as well). You'd think we are overflowing with business ventures and we've got money popping out of our ears. "What do you study?" "Oh I do business studies." "Me, I do Business Information Systems. BIS" Business Information technology, Business in Economics, "pretty lame and basic) statistics for business, Management and Business, monkey business, humonculous mongoloid business. It's all there. Every kind of business has been invented in the world.

What is this? Since when do you need a four-year goddamn degree (in Bahrain it's worse, I know some people it's take 7 years) to learn how to conduct a business? Have you ever heard of the words MICKEY and MOUSE degree? How about doing something that actually stimulates your mind and makes you think for a change?

And then we've got the other degrees. The SISTERS of business. Accounting, Management, Finance, Banking, bu..... z z z ......zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......(snore)

I really don't understand it. It seems that people heard that there are a few jobs available in Banking and Accounting in Bahrain and suddenly everyone rushes like a herd of sheep to the nearest institute to get a degree in that area.

I have news for you folks. In the two main centers of banking in the world (New York and London), you don't need a banking or a business degree to work in the banking, accounting, or business sectors. In fact, they actually look down upon (the horror!) on such degrees! They are considered vocational degrees, like hotel management, or food retail management (that degree actually exists!). They prefer more traditional and academic degrees, or as I like to call them, PROPER degrees.

How about those? What's wrong with them? People say, "Oh, engineering. Who's going to employ you with that?" Any bank in the world would rather hire an engineer than a business student (except Bank of Pagel-Quetta branch). An engineer student can write up a whole statistical model while a business student is still fidgeting over P(A/B). I'd even hire an English Literature major over a business student! At least he'd know how to make proper essays and presentations!

No wonder we as a country never produce any sort of inventions, innovation, or new knowledge to add the world. We are only interested in Business, a bit of engineering, and Computer Science. What happened to Chemistry, Physics, Biology?

Alright, if not inventions, at least new thoughts or something with an artistic merit! How about Philosophy, maybe Arabic or English literature? Maybe someone can write for once a decent historical book to document history from an Arabic eye. Sadly, not many history majors either. What happened to us? Does anyone remember the days when we used to be the pioneers in poetry, chemistry, philosophy, and in the writing of history? Does Al Mutanabi ring a bell? Maybe Al Ghazali? How about Al-Khawarizmi?

Nope, nowadays we just want to make a business, hoard some money and get on with it. Well, here is a revelation. Without innovation and new ideas to invegorate our slowly declining economy, there isn't much business to be made! When oil runs out, try selling a camel and a tent to us!

I have to admit, however, to my horror of horrors, that I started off as a (joint) major in Management. Now there's a subject the devil would be smiling about. The first tutorial I have, the tutor tells me to write an Essay on Fayol's scientific theory (management students will be talking about). Now this upstanding fine gentleman made a whole (SCIENTIFIC THEY CALL IT! LOOOOOOLLLL) theory on how to make employees work as hard as possible. Obviously you can tell this guy wrote in the second Industrial revolution. No, socialism, communism, or even human rights for that matter, did not bother this guy much. He wrote on how to be able to manipulate workers, to work till they drop dead! As if they were animals to play around with! They need a lot of light, and they should specialize to the extreme. He wanted one guy to only do shoveling, another just to pick the rocks and place them in a ceratin position, another guy to only break them, etc. I mean I've heard of division of labour, but that's taking it to the extreme! How boring will it be to sit there for fourteen hours digging in the same hole, with the same shovel, with the same hand motion!

dilbert copyright: scott adams 

And the guys with me on the course start telling me, "Oh I like management. It combines psychology, human relations, mathematics and pe..... It's more like sadism, dullness, satanism, a huge ego, and an inferiority complex. I actually tried and tried to understand and like the subject. I gave it a shot for two months. After that, I wrote to my tutor in an essay, "Finally, If a person really wants to learn about management, then university is not the place for him. How about he goes and finds himself a job and gains some first-hand experience. I bet you've never had a job as a manager in your life (he didn't), and you're lecturing me as if you're some type of guru on the subject. Management is not learned from books, it's learned by studying." Naturally, I did not last long on his course, he signed off that transfer paper like there was no tomorrow.

Anyway, although I've said all of the above, I truly have nothing against business people. A lot of my friends are business majors. I just think they are just misguided a bit. I really don't think 80% of the population should be doing it. Rarely do I find anyone who actually likes the subject, but everyone does it thinking it will open a huge field of money to them. They don't realize there are thousands and thousands of other people doing business, and they are indistinguishable from them, and that employers actually prefer people with proper degrees. Here's a tip: do something that you like, that'll stimulate your brain, and open your mind to new ideas.

Maybe I'm elitist and I stereotype too much, but.... tough.

¶ 3:19 PM